Post-Disney Interview with Sarah (Part III)

The Magic Kingdom - the mother of the four theme parks!

We went twice, once during the Extended Hours when the place was open 'til 2 a.m., and again the next day. Unfortunately, we didn't get a lot done (we spent a lot of time riding the train around the park), because Sarah was feeling sick most of the day, and I didn't want to drag her around. Also, it was pretty crowded, and that always gets my goat.

Anyway, let's get to the interview. Take us away, Dumbo!


K: Ah, the Magic Kingdom! What did you think?

S: It was the most typically Disney. It was what I expecting, with all the rides based on characters.

K: Well, we started out at the Carousel of Progress.


S: Oh, yeah. That was not what I meant.

K: Yeah, I know. Did you like it?

S: Um... Not really. It was ridiculous, I don't know.

K: But didn't you like their weird view of the future?

S: No, I definitely did not. It seemed like this old-fashioned thing, and then all of a sudden, it turned into just outdated.

K: They actually mentioned laser discs and car phones as being cutting-edge. CAR PHONES!

S: That was painful to watch.

K: But the rest of it's good. And the song.

S: That song got stuck in my head for days.

K: And what's wrong with that?

S: It's too short to be stuck in one's head, unless there's a bridge I don't know about.

K: Maybe "Man has a dream, and that's the start..."

S: No, that's part of what got stuck in my head. Oh, yeah, you were singing and everyone turned around to look at you. That was the most attention you got.

K: The ride was practically empty.

S: You were singing before the guy started.

K: It's a good song! After that, we went on Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, and you hated it.


S: I didn't hate it. I didn't hate the ride, I just didn't have a good experience because I didn't know how to do it.

K: Yeah, the guns are hard to aim, you just gotta keep an eye out...

S: I thought it was broken for half the ride, because they didn't explain there wasn't going to be a pointer all the time.

K: But you scored better than that little kid!

S: I scored three times what that little kid got, and you scored... 100 times what that little kid got.

K: More than that, actually. I've been playing for a while. And we also took advantage of the shorter lines at the Haunted Mansion. Did you like that?


S: Yeah, I did. It was spooky, but... it was sombre, you know, not terrifying.

K: What was your favorite part?

S: The new [attic] part, with the woman and the husbands, because it gave you the best story, I think. That's what I usually look for. You see the first one, and you're like, "What is this?" Then you see more and more, and then she [the bride] basically tells you. But it was visually interesting, and you get a sense of story.

K: We also went on Peter Pan's Flight in Fantasyland.

S: That was... You made that out to be one of the best things ever, I feel.

K: Well, it's extremely popular.

S: But it just seemed normal. You feel like you're flying, I guess, but not like Soarin', where you actually feel like you're flying. You've gotta have an imagination, which I don't have.

K: Dreamfinder and Figment told us that imagination is something that belongs to all of us.

S: OK. I didn't go on that version of Journey Into Imagination.

K: I know, and I'm sorry. Do you remember anything about It's a Small World?


S: It was more chaotic than I thought. Everyone was happy. I was expecting segments for different parts of the world, rather than a giant room full of everybody singing and dancing in various languages at the same time.

K: But each room is a continent.

S: I wouldn't have known that if you hadn't told me. Ask me what I learned.

K: What did you learn from it?

S: (Laughs) I learned that hula girls always wink, across the globe, in every country. It's universal.

K: Fair enough. They made the castle to look like it has icicles.


S: I liked when the little boy said, "That's so pretty." That was one of the highlights of the whole trip, because I was surrounded by this, like, Disney romance, you know, man/woman, prince/princess, little girls dressed up like Cinderella and little boys in stupid, dumb-ass t-shirts, you know. It was a really gendered place, and I wasn't expecting to hear a little boy to say that. And it's true, it was pretty.

K: It was. I was really impressed. We came back the next day and had lunch at Tony's Town Square Restaurant.

S: It was nice of the chef to make something special [to accommodate her vegan diet], but it wasn't that great. It might've been what made me feel sick. I feel bad saying that.

K: He was incredibly nice, though. And at least we got to see Mary Poppins outside!


S: OK.

K: We went on The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management, any thoughts on that?

S: I was annoyed by the two new birds [Zazu and Iago]. Especially the comedian.

K: Which one is that?

S: Iago, right?

K: Yeah. The show was better without them.

S: Sounds that way.

K: Also, they look weird compared to the other birds. They look like they're made of plush toys or Muppets.

S: The red one looked like he was made of Telly Monster.


S: During our stay in Adventureland, we also went on Pirates of the Caribbean.

S: I liked the sleeping pig.

K: Why?

S: It was funny.

K: And what about the rest of the ride?

S: It was interesting. I like pirates. Apparently I don't have a lot to say, huh?

K: Nope. (Laughs) Adventureland was fun, though. I bought a little treasure chest full of six-sided dice (over 70!), made you try on a pirate hat, we did the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse, and I got a Dole Whip.


S: How was it?

K: Delicious! What else was there? Splash Mountain, we already talked about that.

S: Yep, I remember.

K: And Mickey's PhilharMagic.


S: Which you loved.

K: Yes, I did love it! It's cute and funny, and I wanted to hold Ariel's hand and I waved to Aladdin and Jasmine. Lynn told us to go on it a thousand times. I wouldn't go that far, but it's a really fun 3-D movie. What'd you think of it?

S: Uh... It was good for kids. I don't know, nothing much. I learned a lot about Donald.

K: Like what?

S: Just that he's kind of, I don't know, I just didn't know anything about his personality. I didn't realize he was such a curmudgeon.

K: He's a bit of a dickhead. But he loves dessert! Remember when that kid sat next to me the second time, and kept talking the entire time?

S: That was cute.

K: He said, "Goofy's such a weirdo."

S: And he is.


K: Overall, I don't think you enjoyed the Magic Kingdom very much.

S: Yeah, it was my least favorite park. And my worst experience was there.

K: Which was?

S: Splash Mountain.

K: Oh, I thought you were gonna say when you kept getting diarrhea.

S: Second worst, then.

K: Should I keep that in there?

S: If you want.

K: Done!

S: Wait... Are people gonna think you're serious?

K: I don't know.

On that note, we'll call it a day. Just one more park, Animal Kingdom, which, if you'll pardon a spoiler, was a really good time.