Post-Disney Interview with Sarah (Part II)

Where many were, how few remain
Of old familiar things;
But seeing them, to mind again
The lost and absent brings.

The friends I left that parting day,
How changed, as time has sped!
Young childhood grown, strong manhood gray,
And half of all are dead.
-from "My Childhood's Home I See Again,"
by Abraham Lincoln

I no longer call it EPCOT Center. It's now just EPCOT. I hit this weird place during our vacation, when I realized it isn't my favorite park anymore.

The park I loved, EPCOT Center, no longer exists. Out of all the old rides from Future World, only one remains (I don't count Living With the Land since they got rid of the song). The World of Motion, Horizons, the real Journey Into Imagination, they're all gone. EPCOT Center is gone. There's only EPCOT now.

What did it for me was seeing a bunch of nostalgic vintage replica EPCOT Center shirts they made for the 25th Anniversary, and oh, that pissed me off. Because I was wearing an authentic version of one of the shirts they were selling. Ouch. So it goes.


But enough about me, let's see Sarah's take on EPCOT Center. I mean EPCOT.

K: So what'd you think of EPCOT? We went twice!

S: Are you interviewing me?

K: Yeah.

S: I thought it was interesting. It had different stuff that wasn't very Disney. The other parks had a lot of cartoon mice and ducks.

K: But the Mexico ride [now called El Gran Fiesta Starring The Three Caballeros] had crap like that. Too much Donald Duck, nothing about Mexico. It's more tourist-y than ever, since Donald plays the role of a ridiculous and embarrassing tourist.


S: Yeah, I could kind of see the shadow that you described to me of what it used to look like.

K: Let's go back to the front of the park. Did you like Spaceship Earth? We went on it twice. [And it's still good! I like the changes they made, and Dame Judi Dench can really tell a story about human communication. And they make stuff like this:]


S: It was kind of relaxing.

K: That's what most of the rides at EPCOT Center used to be like. Did you enjoy Soarin' [which, by the way, is pretty fun, but very short. My reaction here is way exaggerated. Also, note that authentic shirt.]?


S: Mm-hmm, because it's something I don't ever get to do. It's like an experience I never get to have, yet not scary and doesn't make me want to throw up.

K: What about the Imagination ride?

S: I don't think I liked that.

K: Me neither.

S: I didn't actually learn anything. What were they trying to say, what was the message there? I know they were trying to teach about imagination, but it was very vague.

K: And half-assed. I wish you could've seen the old ride.

S: Plus, Figment was kind of a weirdo.

K: Well, he's different. He's no longer voiced by Billy Barty.

S: Yeah, he's a little too puckish for my taste. And forceful. He was trying to order me around.

K: You didn't see the real Figment.


K: The real Figment was created by the Dreamfinder, not by Dr. Nigel Channing of the Imagination Institute. He used to have a dash of childish delight, not be a loose cannon. Also, let me add that the above pin pisses me off. Don't have merchandise for rides you've DESTROYED FOREVER. Anyway. What else did we do, did you like Living with the Land?

S: Yep, because it's in a boat and it was relaxing and there are dragonfruits. And there was a little boy who said, "Mom, look, a stone alligator!" And it had nothing to do with the ride, it was just a long stone. And he was looking at the fish instead of the alligators.

[Sarah enjoys people-watching more than actual rides.]

K: You seemed to enjoy Club Cool, the place where they give samples of foreign sodas.

S: That was fun, that was a highlight. I don't like or drink soda, but again, it was an experience I don't normally get to have. And it was nice of them to give me something for free, and I really wish this country had watermelon or apple or lemon soda, 'cause those were good.

K: I did like the lemon soda a lot. I drank so much soda!

S: And I didn't mind the disgusting one, it wasn't the worst.

K: Ugh, the Italian aperitif. It has a cologne-like aftertaste! But I drank it in honor of the father of one of my students (it was his favorite drink). Club Cool used to be "cooler" when there was snow and a caveman, but I do like that place. Test Track!


S: That was the sickest I got on a ride. If there had been one more turn, I would've felt ill.

K: You're a baby. How about Mission: Space?

S: That was a bit funny because we went on it with a little kid.

K: And that kid sucked! He didn't help out at all with our VERY IMPORTANT mission to space.

S: We would've been goners if he had been on our crew. I felt very unsafe with him as our Navigator.

K: Yeah, what a stupid kid. But otherwise, I was sorely disappointed. It's boring! (Though we did go on the weak-ass version.)

S: Yeah, and I'm glad we did. Lynn said they didn't have the two versions when she went to EPCOT, they only had the orange level.

K: Someone died, that's why they changed it. I think that covers it for Future World. Let's move on to the World Showcase. Did you like the Norway ride?

S: Yeah, it was kind of mild, though.

K: But they had trolls! And Vikings!


S: There wasn't actually a lot to it.

K: You're right. Just Vikings to trolls to polar bears to, like, oil rig, and then the movie. There's no story to it. Speaking of stories, you didn't like the American Adventure.

S: (Shakes her head.) I didn't. (pause) I didn't hate it.

K: Why didn't you like it?

S: I guess 'cause I don't like history. Or cheesy music.

K: Wait, you didn't like when they did the Civil War segment, with the two brothers on their way, one wore blue and one wore gray?

S: Yeah, I did, but you'd told me about that already.

K: Crap. (Pause.) And then at the end they added Run-DMC and, like, who else...

S: Tony Hawk. That was a little odd.

K: ...yeah, to the roll call of 20th century American heroes. And that was about all we did in the World Showcase, other than Reflections of China, the Circle-Vision 360 movie.

S: Which was awesome.

K: Why?

S: Another new thing [it's a movie theatre in the round], and it was really beautiful.


K: And you love China. Though I did think it was weird that they computer-generated a beard over the narrator's mouth so they could change the opening lines.

S: I would like to see it again to see what you're talking about.

K: It's too bad we didn't see the new Canadian Circle-Vision 360 movie. The old one made no sense. Now it's hosted by Martin Short. Oh, we saw Miyuki, the Japanese candy artist.

S: I liked that, it was fun to watch, but the things she was saying were a bit bizarre.

K: "Is candy, yum-yum, treat for you. One minute after." That's their patter, though. I saw her seven years ago (psst, it was a different Miyuki) and she spoke the same way. And what about the Japanese shop?

S: I actually liked the Japanese and Chinese shops. I wonder if that's just because I've lived in Asia and I've studied the languages and whatnot. All the stores were, like, Americanized version for tourists, but there was something about the aesthetic, and also, they were bigger.

K: And they didn't have, like, Mickey Mouse and pins and crap like that.

S: Yeah, I guess not.

K: We bought of stuff there. A lamp... A really great mug... Some Darumas... Snacks... Um, that's probably it.


S: I actually liked the World Showcase, because it's foreign, new. Plus, the best meal I had the whole trip was in Morocco.

K: Yeah, that's one of my favorite places to eat. And we got to listen to that Moroccan fusion band. And took this pretty picture...


S: Oh, also, I saw a manatee.

K: That's true! We forgot to talk about The Seas with Nemo and Friends!

S: Yeah, that's when you became six years old. When we were waiting in line for the Nemo ride, you said "Nemo, Nemo" repeatedly, I would say maybe 100 times.

K: It's very fun to say. I don't even like that movie, but I love saying his name. And they had Nemos there! Real Nemos!


S: And then after we got inside, you kept saying, "Sharks! Sharks! Sharks! Sharks!"

K: Well, they had sharks there.


S: You were also excited about the dolphins. They were cool.

K: Yeah, that was really exciting. I shouted, "Ooh, dolphins!" in a ridiculous-but-genuine voice. They had real dolphins swimming around. They're really big!

Sadly, I couldn't get a picture of the dolphins, they swim too fast. And no manatee pics, either - they look like majestic turds, and I couldn't get a good pic of their faces.

Going into this interview, I was kind of depressed (Lincoln's poetry does that to me), but by the end, I was accepting. "The Future World is born today," after all, and change comes to everything... even the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow.

Next time: The Magic Kingdom!