I Don't Heart Heroes

Of the many things I said Yes to this year, trying out new TV shows was one of them, even though I knew it'd be a super-slow process (for example, it's December, and I've only watched two shows).

Lost was a huge hit, and I'm super psyched for January 21st, when the new season starts, but the second show... well, as you can guess from the title of this post, I'm not that into it.

And as you can also guess from the title, I'm talking about Heroes. I finally finished the first season, and the fact that it took me so long to watch 23 episodes is a good indicator that it failed to get me sufficiently psyched.

Which is surprising, really, it's a show about super powers, I should be interested. I loved the premise, actually, but the terrible writing just totally turned me off. Especially Mohinder and his ridiculously pretentious monologues, I wish that guy would shut up. Or die.

(BTW, I guess I should mention there might be spoilers in this entry, so if you haven't watched the first season of Heroes but might want to one day, stop reading.)

Also, and this is another slam against the writers, there were a lot of holes in the plot and in the reality of the universe. I write and edit scripts and stories and role-playing games, and if someone handed me some of these episodes, I'd be like, "Are you out of your mind?"

For instance, in Episode 2F09 when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a magic xylophone or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

The other thing, and this is the only one I can remember since I watched this over the course of about three months, is that the cop is telepathic. That's his power. Yet characters get the drop on him all the time. What's up? His powers don't always work? Did they explain that at some point and I forgot it? Or does he have to be concentrating to find someone? Because if someone is sneaking around trying to kill him, he'd probably use his telepathic powers to find them first (and don't tell me he can't use his powers to find someone - his first instance of telepathy happens when he finds Molly Walker). Or do they just fail when it's convenient for the plot?

I persevered through the season, because I was told by several sources that it ends well. BUT IT DOESN'T. Parkman gets shot several times, but I know he lives... So unless he's wearing a bulletproof vest, WTF?

Also, Skylar got away? Like, no one noticed that he disappeared? Everyone is like, "Wow, we killed him! But no need to look over at the body, even though it's in plain eyesight, let's all go home." Really?

And before you defend me by saying it's a time-honored tradition for the villain's body to disappear, I say humbug. It's a cliche. And if you're gonna rely on every single one of these characters to not notice, I don't feel you're writing them to the top of their intelligence or potential.

So I will not continue with Heroes, which is fine, I've heard horror stories about the second and third season, and even if there are a few good episodes, I can just read about them on Wikipedia or something.

The next show I'm going for is Mad Men.