2 Frakkin' Days Till Disney!

I'm freaking out! Two days?!?! I'm busy looking at park hours, figuring out which one to visit on which day (and thinking MGM might be good for Saturday, after all), printing up stuff about vegetarian and vegan choices, and packing my invisible dog leash.

But eff all that, look at those happy skeletons! Honestly, with just two days left, it's really hard picking just ONE thing to be psyched about (I think I could do a post a day for a whole year), but when deciding if today should be about the American Adventure (the amazing and heartfelt and beautiful show about America) or whatever they now call El Rio del Tiempo (the Mexico ride at EPCOT Center), well, viva Mexico!

This ride is amazing. It's never crowded, it's slow and peaceful and relaxing, the scenery is beautiful, I think it's probably kind of offensive to Mexicans, and it's got naked people in it.

Unfortunately, all the stuff I'm psyched about might not exist anymore, because they've added the Three Caballeros to the ride in an effort to Disney it up. I don't think I approve of this, and I've kept purposefully ignorant of all the changes. Assuming nothing has been removed, though, these are the reasons why I'm so psyched to take another lazy trip down the River of Time.

- The inside of the Mexico pavilion, I'll say, is the most beautiful of the World Showcase. If you've been there, you know what I'm talking about, if you haven't, look it up on Flickr or I'll post something when I get back (don't wanna spoil it for Sarah).
- The ride begins with videos made in the early 80s of half-naked Aztecs dancing. No explanation, no "These were the native people of Mexico," you're just drifting through an ancient temple and - surprise! Lots of random ass-flashes - those loin cloths aren't very protective when you're jumping around.
- Those singing skeletons! I'm sure they didn't mess that much with the most fun part of the ride, which is a colorful town with no adults but lots of Mexican children (who look like piñatas) playing with fireworks, pretending to be bulls and doing all sorts of things that look dangerous and fun, and those skeletons sing that catchy-ass and totally inaccurate song, "Welcome mis amigos to friendly Mexico, to the land of fiestas, they're everywhere you go." Everywhere!
- I highly doubt the videos of the stereotypical Mexican merchants made the cut, but God, I love 'em. They'd follow your boat and try to sell you stuff - two men, two women. They never give up!
- Then there's random videos of cliff-divers and people lounging in jacuzzis. It's like, this isn't representative of Mexican culture at all, it's like b-roll for some resort commercial. I love it, none of those people are Mexicans, they're American tourists. So this ride teaches me that a big part of Mexican history and culture is that... tourists come to a place that has a bar in a swimming pool?
- Back in the day, I'd always leave a couple coins hidden on the ride (you can reach out and touch the scenery if you are not afraid to break the rules). I highly doubt any of my coins have remained untouched for eight years... but I want to find out. If I find one, I'm hoping it will be full of power from the River of Time.
- The ride ends with something that, to this day, I have no idea what it's supposed to be. They're life-sized puppets or mannequins, but they aren't made to look like real people. And they're in this carousel that goes around and around. Are they dancing? Is that what it's supposed to be? Because even back then, they could've made realistic audio-animatronics that don't look like corpses on ropes. Is this what they do in Mexico?


It's blurry, but it's the only pic I could find.

TWO DAYS!